The JOKES Thread - Page 6 - Seiko & Citizen Watch Forum – Japanese Watch Reviews, Discussion & Trading
Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-19-2019, 09:05 PM   #126 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 59yukon01 View Post
At age 60 I've had my share, and that's not a part I want any share of.
So far we know it may be acceptable to "done worse" but not to "when hell freezes over".
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-19-2019, 10:43 PM   #127 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
59yukon01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 4,370
Points: 178 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by normdiaz View Post
So far we know it may be acceptable to "done worse" but not to "when hell freezes over".
Gotta have standards.

Wishful thinking nowadays.
__________________


David
59yukon01 is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-19-2019, 11:25 PM   #128 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Kenny6139's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Orange Beach, Alabama
Posts: 2,446
Points: 151 (+)
Default

Did we lose our only lady member? Or did you guys just say, fuck it?

Sent from my SM-G970U1 using Tapatalk
Kenny6139 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-20-2019, 12:06 AM   #129 (permalink)
AqualandKing
 
TheNeilo1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Newcastle UK
Posts: 17,771
Points: 1,517 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny6139 View Post
Did we lose our only lady member? Or did you guys just say, fuck it?

Sent from my SM-G970U1 using Tapatalk
KK Sir Seems the Latter😂😂😂 And Schhhhh She’s Back anyway😜
__________________
It is like a Finger Pointing away to the Moon."Dont Concentrate on the Finger or you will Miss all the Heavenly Glory"

TheNeilo1 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 12:08 AM   #130 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Kenny6139's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Orange Beach, Alabama
Posts: 2,446
Points: 151 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNeilo1 View Post
KK Sir Seems the Latter And Schhhhh She’s Back anyway
Hahaha Neilo. All in good fun, eh?

Sent from my SM-G970U1 using Tapatalk
Kenny6139 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 12:12 AM   #131 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 59yukon01 View Post
Gotta have standards.

Wishful thinking nowadays.
Yes.


http://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/gallery/...CID=IE11FRENTP
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 09:59 AM   #132 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Kenny6139's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Orange Beach, Alabama
Posts: 2,446
Points: 151 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 59yukon01 View Post
Gotta have standards.

Wishful thinking nowadays.
Thanks for the mammaries!

Sent from my SM-G970U1 using Tapatalk
Kenny6139 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 12:41 PM   #133 (permalink)
Moderator
 
TheTigerUK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 28,193
Points: 641 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny6139 View Post
Thanks for the mammaries!

Sent from my SM-G970U1 using Tapatalk
I wish I could still remember !!
__________________

TheTigerUK is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 12:54 PM   #134 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
MR.YODA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: POLAND
Posts: 888
Points: 67 (+)
Default

Sex is overrated, watches are better
MR.YODA is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 01:53 PM   #135 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Kenny6139's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Orange Beach, Alabama
Posts: 2,446
Points: 151 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheTigerUK View Post
I wish I could still remember !!
Hahaha JB. Just let your imagination run wild

Sent from my SM-G970U1 using Tapatalk
Kenny6139 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 11:30 PM   #136 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MR.YODA View Post
Sex is overrated, watches are better

Haven't seen a pregnant watch yet.
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 11:40 PM   #137 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

"What? Me worry?" -- Alfred E. Newman
Attached Images
File Type: jpg fukitol.jpg (51.9 KB, 19 views)
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2019, 11:47 PM   #138 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

If you can't find the book you seek, you are here:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg WongBookStore.jpg (66.0 KB, 19 views)
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-22-2019, 12:27 PM   #139 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

The Italian Funeral:


An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian woman walking a dog on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the Italian woman walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
''What happened to him?"
"He yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Italian sisterhood and silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
The woman replied, "Get in line."
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
The Following Member Awarded A Point to normdiaz For This Useful Post:
Old 12-22-2019, 12:30 PM   #140 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
59yukon01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 4,370
Points: 178 (+)
Default

^^^
__________________


David
59yukon01 is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-22-2019, 12:37 PM   #141 (permalink)
Moderator
 
TheTigerUK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 28,193
Points: 641 (+)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by normdiaz View Post
The Italian Funeral:


An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian woman walking a dog on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the Italian woman walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
''What happened to him?"
"He yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Italian sisterhood and silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
The woman replied, "Get in line."

__________________

TheTigerUK is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-22-2019, 01:16 PM   #142 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
MR.YODA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: POLAND
Posts: 888
Points: 67 (+)
Default

Maneuvers of US and Russian troops.
Soldiers talk about food.
- it's ok, say Americans, it's 9,000 thousand calories a day ...
Russians laugh and say:
You lie, nobody eats two sacks of potatoes during the day ...
MR.YODA is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-22-2019, 04:04 PM   #143 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

Abundance.


A Soviet Commissar asked a peasant, "How is the potato crop doing?"


The peasant replied, "Oh, Comrade Commissar, under our illustrious leader the potato crop is so abundant that if the entire crop were placed in a single pile it would form a mountain that would reach the feet of God!"


"Idiot!" yelled the commissar, "don't you know there is no God!?"


The peasant, "There are no potatoes either."
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12

Last edited by normdiaz; 01-02-2020 at 12:15 PM.
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-30-2019, 11:09 PM   #144 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

The Realization:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 80445742_560042414850813_2381668389081841664_n.jpg (40.3 KB, 26 views)
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-02-2020, 12:21 PM   #145 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default Sorry

No excuse.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg VteacherJoke.jpg (36.7 KB, 82 views)
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-02-2020, 04:39 PM   #146 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
MR.YODA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: POLAND
Posts: 888
Points: 67 (+)
Default

Translation at political rallies into sign language
IMG_20190716_164053-01.jpeg
MR.YODA is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-02-2020, 06:50 PM   #147 (permalink)
AqualandKing
 
TheNeilo1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Newcastle UK
Posts: 17,771
Points: 1,517 (+)
Default

Operation😂
Attached Images
File Type: jpeg 1E5AF463-7ACB-4A2C-9AC8-662536E472AB.jpeg (123.0 KB, 24 views)
__________________
It is like a Finger Pointing away to the Moon."Dont Concentrate on the Finger or you will Miss all the Heavenly Glory"

TheNeilo1 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-04-2020, 11:57 AM   #148 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

Past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-06-2020, 07:06 PM   #149 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
DAHASCO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 24,371
Points: 328 (+)
Default

A social worker asks a colleague: "What time is it?"

The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch."

The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it."
__________________
Thanks, D

The Diver's Bezel is the single greatest accomplishment of mankind. While the tachy scale is one of the least useful inventions ever. Not an argument.
DAHASCO is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-14-2020, 11:12 AM   #150 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
normdiaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, TX USA
Posts: 28,248
Points: 29 (+)
Default

On second thought:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg thumbnail.jpg (39.9 KB, 17 views)
__________________
"As a thirsty traveler with eager mouth drinks from any water that he finds, so she settles down before every tent peg and opens her quiver for every arrow." -- Sirach 26:12
normdiaz is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Reply

Tags
jokes

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Seiko & Citizen Watch Forum – Japanese Watch Reviews, Discussion & Trading forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
jokes , jokes... Master Yoda OFF-TOPIC 0 05-19-2016 02:59 PM
Off topic - Christmas jokes please guys - Lets get into the spirit! seikochrono OFF-TOPIC 1 12-21-2012 06:36 AM
Some new Jokes for the week>>>> martog OFF-TOPIC 5 05-09-2012 10:59 PM
A few good jokes to make us laugh> martog OFF-TOPIC 0 04-20-2012 11:12 AM
Talking of good jokes this is how fights start> martog OFF-TOPIC 7 04-09-2012 09:13 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:06 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.